I don't read.

It's bad, I know. It's not by principle or credo or thoughtful experiment, but mostly by sheer laziness, impatience, and the delusion that I don't need eyeglasses and the headaches are coincidental. I've read what I've had to for school (though Cliffsnotes have likely left a heftier impression), and outside of that, I can name maybe three books I've finished recreationally. I'm not proud of it; as a writer, it's embarrassing. It's hard to schmooze with the best of them when the first question they ask is "Who do you read?" Some teachers I've had think my "habit" (or lack thereof, I suppose) leaves me uncultured, uninspired, unchallenged, and stupid. Others, though (and we've liked each other better), have thought my literally-lax ways to be a blessing in disguise. With no style, substance, or story ingrained in my soul to inspire me, I'm left vitrually unaffected, and therefore, completely my own.

Good or bad, here's a sampling of what's come of it.

(If any title tickles your fancy, contact me and you can give it a read. I can't go posting my genius for free here on the world wide web. That would be stupid. And I trust no one.)

FICTION

The Oliver Prose Trilogy:

Oliver Prose and his Giant Head, Part 1
Live Forever, Part 2
Blackout, Part 3
(2008)

May Day
(2007)

Betty-Anne Boudinot
(2007)

Green Apple Winter
(2006)

A Girl Called Ginny
(2004-2005)

Homesick
(2004)

SCREENPLAYS/TELEPLAYS

Hungry Eyes
(2006)

Arrested Development Spec Script: Mono and Stereo
(2005)

Culture Club
(2005)

Quarter-Life Crisis
(2004)

MEMOIR

Green Grass Park
(2005)

Johnny Depp
(2004)

POETRY

Assorted Limericks
(2003-2005)

Long Hair is My Weakness
(2004)

Gazpacho
(2003)

MISC.

Greeting Card
(2006)